1. Put on nail polish and let dry.
2. Dip fingernail in alcohol-basically any will do, vodka is suggested.
3. Press a strip of newspaper big enough to cover the whole nail on to your alcohol soaked nail.
4. Pull off slowly and be really impressed with yourself.
5. Paint top coat if desired.
OMG. Adding this to my things-to-try list.
Dear Odd One,
I like you, again. Through everything that has happened, you still manage to make me fall for you, and that’s killing me. I wish you could stop doing all the things you did before, because everything from your hugs, to your cute little smirks, make me feel weak in the knees. I’m scared I’m just going to collapse one day when you walk by. The power you have over me is incredible.
I find myself thinking about you over the course of this weekend, just like I did 8 months ago. I hope you’re thinking of me too again, and I hope things can be different this time. Please don’t find someone else again.
Dear Grease Monkey,
I thought that it was really nice to meet you the other day. You were sweet, funny, had amazing eyes and there was something so rugged about the thought of you working with your hands (when you told me you were a mechanic.)
You also told me you were in grad school so the fact that you were handy AND smart was a great combination. I had to go and was too chicken to ask for your number but there seemed to be a chemistry with us so i asked you to add me on facebook.
Imagine my surprise then when i got home, saw your profile and noticed your status was “engaged”! There were even pics of you with your fiancee!
Guess i spoke too soon on the smart part. Better hope you really are handy (for your own sake.)
Love (probably not actually…)
Dear Long-haired Boy,
I saw you the first day of Zen class this quarter and thought you were the most handsome guy I have seen in my life. I shared my syllabus with you since you weren’t registered for the class yet. I honestly hoped that you would be able to register, and was absolutely stoked when I saw you in the classroom with your books the next class!
But although we are facebook friends I have yet to have an actual conversation with you, and I can’t always talk about how amazing class meditation was…or what the reading is for next class.
so, if you do notice me, come and say hi, and after that we can work on our meditation assignment together.
Nope! We’re still around. Our stories are real— so if we don’t date or talk to boys for awhile, you may see a lapse. Feel free to submit your own and hopefully we’ll have some new material soon! Thanks for reading <3
I’ve been signed up for eHarmony and Plenty of Fish now for at least a year. I’ve received countless e-mails and messages from guys asking me “what up?” or “wuld u like 2 meet” and I have never once agreed to meet, not even the ones that knew how to spell. You were different. You were older, wiser, you own your own company, and you seemed like a very genuine and nice guy. Truth be told, you’re also a multi-millionaire, and I’d be lying if I said that didn’t influence my decision, but even aside from that fact- I would have probably agreed to meet you.
Our dinner was lovely. You actually surprised me by being a gentleman, you kept asking what I would like to eat and paid the bill, you were funny and charming and not at all what I expected, in a positive way. I actually let go of the nerves of a blind-date really quickly and trusted you enough to have a drink. I even let you walk me to my car, which I NEVER do. I’m always scared of (as my Mom so nicely puts it) “being raped and ax-murdered by some psycho.” I was almost beginning to think that this could work, until… you went in for a good night kiss.
Don’t get me wrong, I like kissing as much as the next person. I’ve even kissed as many people as one of my best friends and HER nickname is “the makeout bandit” — I’m a kissing whore, you could say— so I didn’t mind this particular first kiss. Until… you started groaning. Groaning, and moaning, in the most sexual way possible- as if I was rubbing your crotch and you were a 17 year old virgin. Was that really necessary? You drive a car that’s worth all of my assets combined, for christ sake. I find it hard to believe that you cannot find a woman to touch you.
And as if that weren’t oogy enough, you proceeded to then back me up into the side of my car and press your body against mine while you continued growling at me like Michael J. Fox when he converts into Teen Wolf, and as I turned to unlock my car you proceeded to feel my ass, and you kept your lips locked against mine even while I squatted away from you and into the car. You’ve made millions of dollars on hard-
hitting business deals— yet you cannot tell when someone does not want to kiss you anymore? You sit in the board room on a daily basis but can’t read between the lines of a girl who keeps saying it’s past her bedtime and time to go home? What is your deal?
You’ve texted me twice and I’ve responded but I haven’t really heard much else from you since then. Maybe you finally got the point- maybe you just don’t like me, either way, I can’t really say that I care.
Love (no way no how),
Dear best-guy friend,
I thought we were friends, I really did and I also really thought that something more could happen between us. I was just coming out of a relationship, and I always felt close to you. We talked about the “worst case scenario” and about the best case too. But now that I have decided that I am not ready for a relationship, that I want to really heal before anything you said I’m a bad friend, that you are angry at me, and you don’t even wave back when I say hi.
That proves how we could not be together, if this is the kind of attitude you take, makes me feel that you don’t really understand what I am going through. And I am sorry that our wonderful friendship ended this way.
Love (as a friend)
Dear Love of my life,
Where are you? I have been waiting for you for some time. I think I find you but then I realize I was wrong. I keep waiting for you to sweep me off my feet, but you are just taking too long. There is no sign of you anywhere. And I end up with people that think they are my “Prince Charming”.
I hope you come soon, and by that time I hope I’m not scared of failing and really believe that it is you.
Why do you keep texting me randomly with “how r u cutie?” —- I respond to you and you only grace me with a response 5/10 times… and if you do respond it’s as if you didn’t even read what I had to say. Seriously?
“Try again nxt tme! k, thanks”
I met you on an online dating site, and you didn’t seem like you were my normal type (you’re a few years younger than me, for starters) — but you seemed like a really nice guy so I decided to give you a chance. You spelled words correctly and had generally good manners. I didn’t lead you on, either— I let you know that you’re not my usual type and asked if you wanted to just try being friends first. You said that was totally fine with you as you were new to the area— and I offered to be your personal tour-guide.
Turns out you are a semi-professional football player which made it even cooler! (I LOVE football!) I could have flat out pretended to be interested in you for tickets (don’t get me wrong, it did cross my mind), but I decided that was wrong and continued trying just to be your friend.
After I came and saw your first game (at my own expense) you asked me to send you a picture of me— and I sent you one of me enjoying the game. THEN you told me I misunderstood, and you actually wanted a picture of me “lying in bed.” Seriously? What part of “let’s be friends first” do you not understand? Do I look like the kind of girl who sends naked pictures of herself just because you’re a professional athlete? Do I seem like the kind of girl who sends naked pictures of herself to ANYONE?
My response to you was “I’m very sorry, but I don’t take pictures of anything that I wouldn’t want my momma to see,” and your response to me was “I don’t think we should talk anymore.” What a class act. I’m sorry now that I didn’t get some free tickets out of you, at least! But I’m glad I took the high road. At least at the end of the day, I know I’m better than you and always will be. I’m not a better football player, but I am a better human being, and that’s what matters to me. If I ever see you again, I might be tempted to show you my kicking skills!
Love (no way no how),
We’ve been hanging out almost every other day and talking every day but I still have mixed feelings about this. Should I feel uplifted that there is hope I might one day have a relationship as good as you and Blanche do, or should I feel depressed that at my age you already had five years of happy marriage under your belts? As a friend you are the male version of me, seriously and for true, and a real breath of fresh air. But as a life example, you make me alternate rapidly between jealous, hopeful, and hopelessly in despair that I will never find someone like you of my very own, or find someone as good for you as your wife has been. Is it better to never know what you’re missing, or to find a perfect example of what you should strive to achieve so that you can see how empty your life is currently? Love is a hard aspiration because you can only control one half of it— even if I work really hard and become all that I personally can be- there’s still no guarantee that I’ll meet someone for me who’s as cool as you. I’m so tempted to give up…
For now, it’s time to just enjoy life and be happy you’re my friend. But my hope that one day I’ll find someone in my future who I’m half as compatible with as you is dwindling…
Love (for real and for true, but only as a friend),
I met you at speed dating (well, technically I recognized you as someone I knew vaguely in college), and I thought we hit it off. We “matched” which confirmed my initial thoughts, yet I did not hear from you after the match people sent us each other’s contact information. I waited a week or so to let you do your “man thing” but you never contacted me, so I friended you on Facebook (we have over a dozen mutual friends— afterall, we did go to college together). You set me a vague facebook message asking if I was going to a mutual friend’s event, and that you hoped to see me there, and I told you that I already had plans but would possibly try to stop by. You gave me less than 24 hours notice, after all. It ended up that I couldn’t make it, but I sent you a message letting you know that and asking how it went, and you never responded.
I kept my decline and response polite but not bitchy, and interested but not desperate. Are you ignoring me because I didn’t come running to meet you at a bar on four hours notice? I’m a potential girlfriend, not an escort service! Are you just not interested in me (why did you check me as yes for a match, then)? And finally, why did you even bother going to speed dating if you didn’t want to date?